Do you fantasize about sex with a pregnant woman? Did you have the best orgasms of your life when you were pregnant? If so, you might be a tocophiliac, or someone who loves pregnancy. Some people satisfy their tocophilia by wearing fake pregnancy stomachs while having sex or simply imagining that their partner is pregnant.
Recently, there have been mini-documentaries made and articles written about orgasmic birth, or achieving orgasm(s) during birth. This phenomenon has been explained scientifically because the birth canal is being stimulated by the baby, thus provoking orgasms.
Yes! Orgasms During Birth Are Real, Study Suggests
Every Monday, The CSPH takes a look at a book or film focusing on an aspect of sexuality. This week we are featuring the book Pomosexuals: Challenging Assumptions about Gender and Sexuality, edited by Carol Queen and Lawrence Schimel.
Gay, straight, queer, transgender, genderqueer, pansexual, omnisexual; these are just a few of the many gender and sexuality labels that we acknowledge in our pursuit of identity, community, and relationships. Pomosexuals is an anthology of fifteen essays that examines a new identity: the “pomosexual.” A pomosexual person—“pomo-” indicating “postmodern”—is one who doesn’t follow the most common or expected gender or sexuality conventions.
All of the essays in this anthology challenge binary gender roles and exclusionary attitudes in sexuality communities. Whether it’s Carol Queen discussing her feelings of comfort and safety in her sexual relationships with gay men in “Beyond the Valley of the Fag Hags,” or David Harrison dealing with his misperceived desires as a transman in “The Personals,” desires and passions for the writers are described with independence and confidence, even when these contradict their personal labels.
One of the most powerful essays is Riki Anne Wilchins’ “Lines in the Sand, Cries of Desire,” which tells of the tenuous and difficult journey through her gender transition. As she begins her transition, her therapist doesn’t understand why she, as a transwoman, would be attracted to women, because most people assume transwomen desire male penetration. At the same time, as a lesbian, she is told that lesbians like herself don’t desire penetration—really, that they aren’t supposed to. Through gutsy language slick with emotion, we become completely enthralled by her tale, where through a sexual experience with a married couple, she finally feels a deep sense of confidence with herself, and experiences a high point in her path toward authenticity in her gender and sexual life.
Another interesting feature of this anthology is the way it acknowledges how challenges around identity and behavior can even come from inside queer communities. For example, in D. Travers Scott’s essay “Le Freak, C’est Chic! Le Fag, Quelle Drag!,” he shows how the same sex and gender “policing” that comes from mainstream groups toward queer groups can happen within queer groups as well. He describes a tendency within queer communities to “police” queer identity, calling it “a strain of fascism and conservatism.” This “view from the inside” is enlightening, as it opens up discussion about unique concerns within the LGBTQ movement, which allows for the potential to find solutions.
Kate Bornstein’s excellent foreword addresses the book to those who think they might challenge sex and gender conventions, and Pomosexuals is excellent for those who are seeking that understanding; those of us for whom traditional labels don’t always work. Whether exploring the “boxed-in” sexual roles implied in identity politics, acknowledging the way culture affects unique sexual identities, or combating cultural expectations of attraction and behavior, seeing the world through pomosexual eyes opens our minds to a more diverse and fluid sexual spectrum. In the end, Pomosexuals is all about people living their sexual and gendered lives with their own words and intentions, seeking complete authenticity.
Where? The Salon (57 Eddy Street), Providence, RI
When? June 27, starts promptly at 8pm
Join The CSPH team for an evening of sexuality questions that will titillate your intellectual senses and get you excited about learning more. Fantastic toys and prizes will be awarded to the winning team! Free safer sex supplies and lube samples for the taking.
Trivia teams can be up to 4 people and answer sheets are $10 (one per team). Questions begin promptly at 8:00pm. This is an event you don’t want to miss!
CLICK HERE FOR MORE INFO.
If you fantasize about anonymous sex, then glory holes might be for you!
A glory hole is a hole in a bathroom wall (typically in a public restroom or an adult shop) through which penis-owners can stick their penises and have anonymous sex. A creative vulva-owner could also maneuver themselves so that they are exposed for sex (provided they are flexible enough!). Though it’s not particularly safe sex, the anonymity can be arousing. The next time you find yourself in an adult store, you might be singing glory holelujah!
Ever taken a nine volt battery and licked the top of it? If you haven’t, let me explain; when you lick the top of the battery you complete the circuit causing you to feel a slight shock. Kind of like that feeling? Perhaps you wanted to try that same sensation on someplace a bit more tender? Maybe you wanted just a little more umph than that little battery.
Sounds shocking, right? Actually, electrophilia is the sexual urge or preference to fantasies involving electricity, so add that to your list of kinks to try out. However, be careful when trying out electricity in the bedroom as it is often uncontrollable and more powerful than expected. It can be risky if one or more partners do not have any experience, so do your research! Electricity is tingly, but can also be painful, so warn your partner.
Electrophilia can also refer to positively charged ions that attract electrons to them and are therefore Lewis Acids, but there is a different word for finding chemistry nerds sexy. ;)
Sources: http://www.rightdiagnosis.com/e/electrophilia/intro.htm & http://www.kinky-sex-questions.com/electrophilia.html
Do you and your partner have schedules that make it hard to find time to hook up? Try using a sex alarm - an alarm set a bit earlier than you’re used to - for a morning quickie! Not only are orgasms a great way to wake up, they’ll leave you smiling at the memory for the rest of the day.
You can also check out our review of the Little Rooster, a LITERAL sex alarm which can be used both solo and with a partner: an alarm clock and a vibrator combine for a fresh, rollicking good time. http://bit.ly/17Hw8ye
We’ve added a new antique vibrator to the family!
Julia, CSPH Education Intern, Summer 2013
[Part of our weekly Sex Positive Saturday series! Visit http://thecsph.tumblr.com for more, or to submit your own definitions.]
Do you remember when you lived with your parents and you could only hang G-rated ornaments on the Christmas tree?
Well, now that you live on your own, feel free to hang all the pornaments you want! Pornaments are exactly what they sound like— ornaments with erotic images on them. Don’t worry about finding them in stores, as they are easily handmade using plain ornaments, old Playboys (or printouts from the internet), and some Modge Podge. Happy crafting!
Word of the Day: Wide Stance If you’ve ever wondered about good slang for all those Republican politicians who get caught with their pants down, try the term “wide stance” on for size. A wide stance is a conservative, closeted homosexual in a position of power who does not want his homosexuality revealed. Senator Larry Craig popularized this term when he was arrested for soliciting sex in an airport bathroom. In his arrest interview, he claimed that instead of soliciting sex, he merely had a wide stance in the bathroom stall. “Wide stance,” unfortunately, can also be used in a homophobic way: “Did you see that wide stance? He almost hit on me!” Relax, bigots. No matter how wide the stance, your intolerance doesn’t get any more attractive.